Michael Marano

Film Review: “The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim” — Troll Poopies

December 12, 2024
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Ya gotta understand — corporate assholes are like Sauron’s boss, Morgoth. They are incapable of creation. They can only appropriate and warp, like how Morgoth appropriated and warped Elves to create Orcs.

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Film Review: “The Apprentice” — Marinating in Malignance

October 11, 2024
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It’s Jeremy Strong’s portrayal of Roy Cohn that hangs in this not-very-good movie like a Rembrandt on the cracked plaster of a La Quinta suite by the airport.

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Film Review: “Joker: Folie à Deux” — “Morning in America” as Musical Nightmare

October 3, 2024
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This is a work of towering, masterful, sustained cinematic rage set at the dawn of the Reagan Era.

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Film Review: Francis Ford Coppola’s “Megalopolis” — Forty Years in the Making … And it Shows

September 25, 2024
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In “Megalopolis,” we have Francis Ford Coppola, Titan of Cinema, unleashing his undiluted meditation on Roman History, US History, Political Rivalry and Cooperation, Urban Planning, Technology, Love, Marriage, etc.

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Film Review: “The Front Room” — Sheer Hagspolitation

September 6, 2024
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“The Front Room” lacks the suspense and tension of “My Mother the Car” and, on top of that, it doesn’t have the benefit of a super-catchy theme song. 

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Film Review: “Mountains” — Downwardly Mobile

August 29, 2024
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The performances in Mountains are astounding, and Monica Sorelle’s sure-handed direction heralds a new and formidable talent.

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Film Review: “Alien: Romulus” — A Rosary of Pavlovian Stimuli

August 18, 2024
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Disney has bought Fox, so the “Alien” franchise is now incapable of having an impact close to what it initially had, when it redefined what science fiction/horror films could be.

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Film Commentary: Looking Sharp, Leatherface! “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” Turns Fifty

July 23, 2024
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No 4k DVD, Blu-ray, theatrical digital, or streaming version of the movie improves on the visceral electricity of the original “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre”.

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Film Review: “Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes” — Respecting Simian History

May 10, 2024
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“Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes” — Think “I, Claudius” with monkeys, by way of “Lord of the Rings” and “The Searchers.”

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Film Review: “Love Lies Bleeding” — Fatigued Existential Ruthlessness

March 14, 2024
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“Love Lies Bleeding” is a glorious work of sweaty, dusty, pulp filmmaking.

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