By Sarah Osman

Spoiler Alert is arranged to make the viewer feel snug, like a cup of hot cocoa on a cold winter day.

Spoiler Alert, directed by Michael Showalter. Streaming on Peacock.

From left: Jim Parsons and Ben Aldridge in Spoiler Alert. Photo: Giovanni Rufino/FOCUS FEATURES

Spoiler Alert, based on Michael Ausiello’s memoir Spoiler Alert: The Hero Dies at the End, is what my stepmom would call a “nice movie.” There’s nothing anyone would find remotely offensive about it: it’s a sweet romance between Ausiello (Jim Parsons) and his husband, Kit (Ben Aldridge). Sorry to spoil it (but it is in the title!) — Kit passes away from cancer, which turns this rom-com into complete sap. There’s nothing wrong with Spoiler Alert per se, but it’s far from a LGBTQIA+ groundbreaking romance. And it is far from the funniest (that honor goes to Bros). This is the movie you watch with your family (once your homophobic uncle has gone upstairs to sleep it off) over the holidays that is too pleasant to upset anyone.

The film follows Michael, a shy, TV-obsessed nerd who writes for TV Guide. He’s described as a dork, which is an apt observation. He sees most of his life as a TV show, especially his childhood. A series of flashbacks are framed to look like an ’80s sitcom. Maybe this trope works in prose, but on film it’s jarring. Seeing Michael and Kit in bed together and then suddenly switching to Michael’s childhood as a “fat kid” is more jarring than it is amusing. I assume that director Michael Showalter figured the time machinery would be whimsical, but the ’80s sitcom moments detract from the film’s serious look at loss. These retro gags should have hit the cutting room floor.

Michael, who never goes out, let alone on a school night, is convinced by his friend to go to ‘da’ club. It’s there that he first lays eyes on Kit. Michael is intimidated by Kit: he’s cool, hot, and decidedly not a dork. Despite their differences, the two have a natural chemistry thanks to the performances of Parsons and Aldridge. Their early dates are endearing: Michael marvels over the fact that Kit doesn’t have a TV and Kit marvels at Michael’s expansive smurf collection. (Oddly, it is not bought up again.) Both characters have distinct likes and dislikes, and these clashes help flesh them out as three-dimensional human beings. For instance, Michael can’t stop drinking Diet Coke (in case you were wondering, the claim is made that Chipotle serves the best Diet Coke); Kit loves taking pictures with his digital camera.

The problem is that when film shifts to a drama there is nothing to replace the earlier charm. Spoiler Alert isn’t a dramedy. It is more like a comedy that suddenly flips into a drama. Moments that should feel more poignant fall flat; Kit comes out to his parents and they have no problems about it. There are poignant moments in their relationship that ring true, such as when Michael and Kit squabble during couples counseling. Kit’s sickness is heartbreaking. When Parsons cries by his side you may shed a tear as well.

Showalter is no stranger to romances that tap into illness. He helmed The Big Sick. But that film felt more original than Spoiler Alert. The issue is not that The Big Sick had a happy ending and Spoiler Alert doesn’t. The writing here is blander, its tone familiar, formulaic. Too much effort is spent to keep things safe, to keep mortality from being all that upsetting. From Michael’s friendship with Kit’s mother (Sally Field, the real standout of the film) to Michael and Kit lying under their Christmas tree giggling at the colorful lights, Spoiler Alert is arranged to make the viewer feel snug, like a cup of hot cocoa on a cold winter day. And that’s what makes the film so ideal for families: it’s a comfortable and comforting LGBTQIA+ story.

Sarah Mina Osman is a writer residing in Wilmington, NC. In addition to writing for the Arts Fuse, she has written for Watercooler HQ, Huffington Post, HelloGiggles, Young Hollywood, and Matador Network, among other sites. Her work was included in the anthology Fury: Women’s Lived Experiences in the Trump Era. She is currently a first year fiction MFA candidate at the University of North Carolina Wilmington. When she’s not writing, she’s dancing, watching movies, traveling, or eating. She has a deep appreciation for sloths and tacos. You can keep up with her on Twitter and Instagram: @SarahMinaOsman